World Peace PlanSo many people the world over are always yelling about peace, but you never see anyone coming up with a viable plan. Here's, in our humble opinion, the perfect plan for resolving most of the world problems.. Now, if we can get the US UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message, we might just be in business!
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No human bodies with hidden agendas sneaking through holes in the fence. All other animals are welcome.
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and return to the country from which they came. We'll pay for them to get a free trip home. (Coach of course). After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them, Canada would give them shelter.
4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit with specified permissons. No one from a current or potential terrorist nation would be allowed in. If they don't like it there, they change it themselves. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home bayee.
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while. Since they number in the tens of thousands, they'll survive.
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere," They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. (That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE... Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me, sucka?'
Thanks to our great friend, Robin Williams